I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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