I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize