Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
