So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
