pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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