So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
