Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
