i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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