spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
