So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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