I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
