eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
