How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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