dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
