He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize