I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!