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If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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