Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
