So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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