I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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