I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
