she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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