I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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