i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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