i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
