Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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