I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
