Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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