hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
