Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
