We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
