Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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