i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I didn't notice because vodka
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
