if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
