3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
