threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
