just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
a search helicopter?!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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