We won't sleep together?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
