College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
