is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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