you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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