I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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