So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
