Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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