but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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