I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
