I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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