I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
