kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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