she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That accounts for only three of the penises
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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