she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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