An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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