I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
