we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
