I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
