On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
