ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
