You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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