lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
